Depression Strike #1.

Grabe. Magang-maga na mata ko. Umi-emo ako, yes, nde ka nagkakamali. I feel so down and I don't know what made me feel this way. May be I know but I just won't admit it to myself for now. I regret disobeying God, I regret living, I regret being born and this is fucking bad because I shouldn't be thinking like this. I AM NOT THINKING STRAIGHT AT THIS MOMENT. I just want to scream my lungs out, cry as much as I can and beat the hell out of some fucking homeless shit out there somewhere!

I AM SUCH A DISAPPOINTMENT .. TO GOD, TO MY FAMILY, TO MY FRIENDS, AND TO MYSELF. Why does God have to make me live still? Can't he just kill me and send me straight to hell because I'm a fucking SINNER?! Should I spell that out for you? S-I-N-N-E-R! Bakit ganon? How come we can't change past anymoree? PLEASE DON'T FUCKING TELL ME THAT IT'S BECAUSE IT'S PASSST AND IT CAN'T BE CHANGED ANYMORE AND WHATSOFUCKINGEVER because I already know that. Gossh! I want a fucking straight answer tooo my face!

I am seriously going INSANE right now. I made my life miserable, oh not to mention, MY PARENTS ESPECIALLY MY MOM! I JUST WANT TO FUCKING DIEEEEEEE! Should I start cutting myself too just like the real emo people? WHATTHEFUCK?! AND HELL NO BUT I WANT TO BUT I WON'T because I love my mom and I know that it's going to kill her if I kill myself.


No matter how much I ask for forgiveness it's just ain't enough. I don't deserve to live.